The human race is the same all over the world, the differences we have are normally dominated by our culture. The Spanish humor is very different different to ours. Needless to say the British humor can be very dry and we have a great ability of being able to laugh at ourselves! Here are some Spanish jokes translated to English, some I must admit I struggle to chuckle at.
Intentaba escoger un champú y vi que casi todos decían “no se ha probado en animales”.
I was trying to choose a shampoo and I noticed that almost all of them said “has not been tested on animals.”
¡Con razón he visto tantos animales con el pelo rebelde!
No wonder I have seen so many animals with bad hair!
¿Has oído el caso de ese fugitivo que secuestró un autobús de turistas japoneses?
Have you heard about the case of that fugitive who held hostage a busload of Japanese tourists?
La policía tiene 5.000 fotos suyas.
The police have 5,000 pictures of him.
Hay tres clases de personas:
There are three kinds of people:
las que saben contar y las que no.
those who know how to count, and those who don’t.
El doctor llama por teléfono a su paciente:
The doctor calls his patient by telephone:
– Vera, tengo una noticia buena y otra mala.
“Vera, I have good news and bad news.”
– Bueno… dígame primero la buena.
“Well then, . . . tell me the good news first.”
– Los resultados del análisis indican que le quedan 24 horas de vida.
“The results of the analysis indicate that you have 24 hours left to live.”
– Pero, bueno, ¿eso es la buena noticia? ¿Entonces cuál es la mala?
“Well, that’s the good news? Then what’s the bad news?”
– Que llevo intentando localizarle desde ayer.
“That I have been trying to reach you since yesterday.”
– Jo, tío, me acabo de comprar un aparato para la sordera que es una maravilla. Me lo puedo meter en la oreja y nadie se da cuenta.
“Hey, man, I have just bought myself an aid for deafness that is a wonder. I can put it in my ear and nobody realizes it.”
– Jo, ¡qué cosas…! ¿y cuánto te ha costado?
“Huh, what things [will they think of next]! And how much did it cost you?”
– Las dos y cuarto.
“A quarter past two.”
Un paciente entra en la consulta del médico.
A patient enters the doctor’s office.
Doctor: – ¿Qué es lo que le ha traído por aquí?
Doctor: “What is it that’s brought you here?”
Paciente – Una ambulancia, ¿por qué?
Patient: “An ambulance. Why?”